you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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