I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
