Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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