she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
