Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Randomize
