If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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