This girl is more easily done than said...
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
