I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Is it penis luge time yet?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
