I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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