her vagine was all disorganized.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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