So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
