Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
This is classic penis vs brain.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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