Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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