i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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