Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
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He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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