i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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