dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
