i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize