Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
