He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
