It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize