So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
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I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
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Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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