just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
