Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
