She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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