I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
