Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
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Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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