Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
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I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
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We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day