dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
