carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop