I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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