If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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