what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize