I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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