it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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