false alarm. still invincible.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
