So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You brought string cheese to the strip club
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
