Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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