Banned from zoo.
Again?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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