My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
