i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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