I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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