I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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