they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
