it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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