Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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