The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
