i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
where does the pee come out of this thing
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
