ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
