I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
