Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
