Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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