dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
