WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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