guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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