I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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