What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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