tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
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