She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
